Even if that doesn’t happen, a divorce, no matter how civil, is nobody’s idea of a good time. So, yes, in a perfect world, people would conclude their previous relationships, paperwork and all, before entering into new ones.

You have no idea the truth, you have no idea of their marriage dynamics, and you shouldn’t be in the midst of it.

If you find out your guy is in this situation, tell him to call you back when his marriage is OVER. I didn’t start dating in earnest for seven months post-split and when I did, there was zero chance of any reconciliation ever. If you find yourself post-split and are ready to start dating, you need to think very clearly about your motives. You must focus on you, your children, your divorce proceedings, and your life first.

Why would anyone ever knowingly insert themselves in the middle of it? For every minute he’s spending on the phone with you, for every evening you two are at dinner, he should instead be in therapy.

I’ve recently met someone and we’ve fallen pretty hard for each other. Plus, she’s totally hung up on the fact that he said he was divorced on OKCupid. For reasons more pragmatic than principled, I am opposed to people dating before they are divorced.

We both have two kids in middle school: a girl and a boy. So, for all intents and purposes, it's like they're divorced, they just haven't done the paperwork. She says dating him is wrong because he’s still a married man. Dear In Love, I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married.

Ever since she left him, he's paid for his household expenses, she's paid for hers, and they coparent their kids without any drama.

Since it’s not likely that the two of you will take a hiatus while Ben gets his divorce done, let’s develop a practical plan to get you through this. He sat on the sidelines waiting to see what she would do next.

Up until this point, Ben’s been content to let his ex wife call the shots regarding their separation. Some people (especially men) take this approach because they are holding out hope for reconciliation.

But there’s nothing like a not-yet-ex finding someone new to make the person who wanted the divorce in the first place have second thoughts about splitting up. As a result, your fun, new relationship with Ben will get bumped and bruised in the process of Ben’s divorce.