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Commonly found in toy stores, amusement parks and birthday parties; they lack the social grace of wearing clothes. This is the complexion most of us support just before puking.

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She was also unbendingly ethical, deeply scholarly, and emotionally supportive—virtues I’d always believed essential in a prospective girlfriend or wife.

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Still, the idea of a bunch of guys playing heavy metal while covered in weird makeup and blowing shit up was really appealing to my 13 year old mind, and I felt really frustrated when I kept being unable to see them live. I’ve seen Kiss live, I started to pay attention to their lyrics and, finally, my former love for the band became a source of embarrassment and frustration.